Writings Library When I look in the mirror at this man I see much more. I see a lonely man that is hurting and angry inside. He’s trying to grieve over the loss of someone very dear and special to him. Someone taken away by death with no warning, his life taken by his own hand. It has left a big emptiness inside him. He sometimes wears a mask to hide the tears from the pain and anguish that he feels. Sometimes he’s afraid to let others know exactly how he feels, afraid of what they’ll say to him, afraid of their reaction to him. He just wishes things were different. He wishes it would all go away. He wishes he could wake up in the morning and realize it has all been a bad dream. When he’s out in public he hopes it doesn’t show. He hopes the tears don’t come to his eyes. He hopes his anger doesn’t come out. So he tries as hard as he can to hold back the tears. After all a real man is not supposed to cry. So he hides behind his mask. He manages to suppress his anger, he saves it for when he’s alone then he finds ways to release it to keep from hurting others and to keep from lashing out at them for no reason. So if you see me out and about and you manage to see a tear in my eye, don’t criticize me, judge me, or stereotype me. Real men do cry and sometimes it is difficult not to. Don’t tell me things like “enough is enough”, or that “it’s time to get on with your life.” Don’t tell me “it’s been long enough that I should be over it.” It just doesn’t work that way. Life will never be the same again and you never get over it. Listen to me but don’t condemn me. Don’t feel sorry for me, feel with me. Don’t shy away from me, but help me carry this load. Be there for me when I need someone to talk to. Tell me I don’t need to hide behind my mask. Tell me it’s ok to feel the way I feel. Tell me it’s ok for me to cry. Tell me it’s ok to feel the anger. Most of all tell me you’ll help me through this nightmare of life. © 1998 by Lloyd E. Carson |